Autism Awareness Day 21

Autism Awareness Day 21 - Early Intervention. One of the key signs of Autism is a lack of verbal communication. If your child is not meeting their milestones where verbal communication is concerned you should probably check in to it. If you child meets their milestones and then later suddenly stops talking then again this may be cause for alarm. Now I'm not saying this automatically means your child has Autism but I am saying that you should find out why they are not meeting their milestones.

One great place to find out more about this is through Help Me Grow. They can help you find out if you child is on track developmentally and then provide further assistance if they are not. We have been working with Help Me Grow for a little over a year now and they've been wonderful with Draiman. They came out to our home to assess his development and then from there scheduled more visits and therapy to help us work on goals with him.

They are a great resource so please check them out. For more information visit there website at http://www.ohiohelpmegrow.org/

Autism Awareness Day 20

Autism Awareness Day 20 - Do not fear an Autism diagnosis. I have heard of family with children that are most likely on the spectrum but the family refuses to have their child tested. Believe me when I say that I understand it can be hard to admit that your child may not be typical but you don't have to be afraid of the diagnosis. When Gatlin was diagnosed I went through a whole range of emotions, I wasn't sure what to do. I wasn't sure how I was going to cope let alone be able to help with all of the daunting therapies that he was going to need.

It was beyond overwhelming and then at some point I just realized that it didn't have to be traumatic. Gatlin was still my child, still my baby that loved so much for who he was and the diagnosis didn't change that. He was who he was regardless of what you labeled it, he was still Gatlin. What the diagnosis did do was point us in the right direction of learning to understand him better and to get the help and support we needed. His diagnosis wasn't a tragedy, it was a way of getting us on to the path we needed to travel for better understanding, learning, and growing.

By the time we got Draiman's diagnosis it was no big deal, we understood our boys so much better now. We had been able to learn about Autism and better understand why our boys did some of the things they did. We had learned how to better communicate with them which led to less and less tantrums. We were learning new ways to teach our children things that we weren't able to before. We were also learning how to meet their sensory needs and life was just changing, but for the better.

So if you have a child that you or your family thinks may be on the spectrum then I urge you to follow through on getting them tested. I know it can be scary but it's a necessary step. The worst case scenario is that your child will in fact be diagnosed with Autism, but if you ask me that's not really a worst case scenario. I think it would be much worse to not have them tested because of your own fears and deny them and your family the opportunity to finally understand your child better. To also deny your child any helpful resources that may be available to them with a diagnosis of Autism. So please put your fears aside and do what needs to be done for your child's sake.

Autism Awareness Day 19

Autism Awareness Day 19 - Putting aside our adult agendas. Yes I'm still behind on these posts but it's important to me so I will continue on. Hopefully you all aren't sick of them and hopefully some of you are actually benefiting from my posts. So now lets get back to the topic of putting aside our adult agendas.

As an adult you have a lot of responsibilities, expectations, plans, etc but when you have a child with special needs you will find that sometimes it all goes out the window. Some days run smoothly and I get things accomplished that I had planned to but other days just don't work that way. Before the diagnosis of Autism I thought I must be some kind of awful parent who just couldn't get her children to do what they should. A parent who was incapable of getting things done that should be done. I was so frustrated, I was trying so hard to get my boys to do the things they "should" and to manage my household and my photography business the way I "should" but nothing was working right. Why were other Moms and other photographer Mom's able to get things done and I wasn't? Why was I failing so miserably??

Then I finally started realizing that Gatlin just wasn't a typical child, then came his diagnosis and soon after the realization that Draiman wasn't a typical child either. My boys have Autism, therefore they have special needs which means that the things that work for other parents don't always work for us. I finally started to see that things were just going to be different for us and that different is ok. It's perfectly ok that my children haven't met their milestones in the same timeline as someone else's child. It's perfectly ok that our household, our lives, are not the same as some other families. It is perfectly ok that I that I focus more on what my children need and less on what I thought I "should" be doing.

One of my favorite movies that we've watched dealing with Autism is called The Horse Boy. There were so many ways in which I could relate to this family, so many things they learned that we also learned along the way. The journey was crazy and amazing at the same time. My favorite parts of the movie are when Rowan's Dad talks about needing to put our adult agendas aside and do what's best for our children and when he says his prayer for his son and everyone affected by Autism. It was a powerful movie and he makes some powerful points. Sometimes we really do need to put our adult agendas aside, and I believe this goes for special needs parents as well as typical parents.

http://horseboymovie.com/

Autism Awareness Day 13

Autism Awareness Day 13 - Dr. Solomon's magic trick. Before Draiman was officially diagnosed with Autism he had begun hitting a lot. When I say a lot I mean it too, it was constant. He couldn't communicate verbally and he would get really frustrated so he would hit people. He would hit his brother, he would hit us, he would hit anyone that he became frustrated with or didn't want to listen to. It was becoming a big problem and we were having one heck of a time to get him to stop.

Then the day we took him to Dr. Solomon for diagnosis we learned an awesome trick. Dr. Solomon told us that the very next time he hit us we needed to take hold of his hands and not let go. He said that we should look Draiman in the face and tell him that we understood his frustration but that he was not allowed to hit. We needed to explain to him in simple terms that it was not ok to hit and that he must find another way to express his anger. Dr. Solomon said to hold his hands still the entire time we said that and then to look away from him and count to 30 while still holding his hands still. He said that once we were done counting to 30 we should look him in the face again and tell him that we loved him but that it was not ok to hit. Then after that we could let go of his hands. Dr. Solomon explained that the 30 plus seconds of holding his hands would be like torture or severe punishment so he would not want to suffer those consequences again and that we needed to also acknowledge his frustration even if we weren't sure he understood it. Then of course it was important for him to know that we loved him too.

Well that same night when we got home Draiman was angry and hit me. I did exactly what Dr. Solomon said to do. Draiman struggled fiercely and you could tell he hated it. He did not like having his hands held still like that for anything. I wasn't sure how well it was going to work but would you believe that was the end of hitting. It took one time and he pretty much completely stopped hitting. Now he will now again hit his brother when they get to fighting but it's rare and nothing like what it was before that day.

Autism Awareness Day 9

Autism Awareness Day 9 - Sleep, sleep, please go to sleep. I was going to post something last night but I was too tired to mess with it so I tried to get some extra sleep. I'm tired a lot to be honest and a lot of it has to do with my boys and their sleep issues. A lot of children with Autism tend to have sleep issues. For our family it's anything from difficulty falling asleep, restlessness, leg cramps, trouble staying asleep, to waking up several times a night. Now add in the fact that I have two boys that have those same troubles and you'll soon understand why I'm tired a lot.

Both Gatlin and Draiman have issues falling asleep easily on their own. This is one reason it is important to have a consistent bed time routine to help cue their bodies into sleep time. We do give our boys melatonin, though I hope to stop using it. That helps Gatty a lot which is good so that he can sleep for school the next day but Draiman fights it like crazy so at times it's almost pointless giving it to him. Then once we get them to sleep it's a matter of keeping them asleep. They both can tend to wake up several times a night. Poor Gatlin at times wakes up with severe leg cramps which then makes it difficult to calm him down and get him back to sleep. Other times my boys will wake up at around 3 am ready to go like it's time to wake up for the day.

This can be a crazy cycle for me. I tend to stay up for a while after the boys go to sleep so that I can work on things I need to get done. Then when I'm ready to finally go to sleep about half the time Draiman has already woken up or will soon. Sometimes I spend my night back and forth dealing with one child only to get him to sleep and have the other one wake up on me. Or there are those nights that one wakes up and is so loud that they wake the other one up and no one will go back to sleep for hours at least. A lot of times I wake up with a child or two sleeping with me. Just this week I woke up with both of them laying across me.

The sleeplessness can be frustrating but it's just the way it is. Some days are good and they both will sleep through the night but unfortunately that doesn't tend to happen as often. So we just do the best we can each night and hope for the best. If a night is particularly rough then there will more than likely be naps later. Although naps for Gatty can sometimes cause more bed time issues. But like I said we do the best we can, but you'll have to forgive me if I'm not the most sympathetic to others who complain about newborns not sleeping. Most newborns will eventually learn to sleep through the night just fine. We on the other hand have been wishing for uninterrupted sleep for over 4 years now and I don't see it getting better right away. It's ok though because I love my boys regardless of any sleep I lose.

Autism Awareness Day 8

Autism Awareness Day 8 - Sensory Seekers. My boys are what some refer to as sensory seekers. What that means is that they crave sensory input or stimulation. They need activities like jumping, bouncing, and rough and tumble play. Ever since my boys were very small they would always try to lift things that seemed way too heavy for them. That's because their muscles needed that input. This is why Draiman loves to jump pretty much all the time and why he also enjoys walking on his tip toes. Gatlin also loves to bounce, jump, and run around a lot.

Without these kinds of activities it is very hard for my boys to settle down and focus. They need these activities on a regular basis and when they don't get enough of it then you see them get crazy hyper or overly agitated. Not to mention that they are nearly impossible to get to go to sleep if they haven't used up enough energy.

This is why in our home we have a fairly large preschool trampoline, an exercise ball for bouncing, a crash pad for jumping and wrestling, weighted balls for playing with, and several other balls as well. We spend quite a bit of time rough housing through out the day too. My boys love to be slammed down on the crash pad or smashed against the back of the couch. We have to watch out for Draiman too because he enjoys head butting, what hurts us feels good to him. Though he has gotten much better about that.

Now it may sound odd but these things are actually good for them. They need this kind of sensory input and like I said it does help them focus better. It also provides a good way for us to engage them, to actually pay attention to us rather than just being in their own world. Through P.L.A.Y project therapy we use the rough and tumble play to get the boys to communicate with us too. Draiman rarely says anything but if I'm smashing him in the chair behind me and then stop and say "Ready, Set ..." you better believe he will yell "GO" just so I'll continue to smash him some more.

Its kind of funny how their needs sort of force us to play with them but the truth is I really enjoy playing with them. We could all stand to play with our kids more. Find those games that your child enjoys and make them a fun, learning, bonding experience.

Autism Awareness Day 5

Autism Awareness Day 5- Consistency is key. When you have a child with Autism you soon learn that being consistent and maintaining schedules can be very helpful. My thoughts on this are that if your senses can be easily overwhelmed, the world around you can seem chaotic and overstimulating, and you have difficultly clearly communicating with others then schedules and routines probably help you to feel more comfortable and secure. I think for my boys it is nice for them to know what's expected and what's coming next so they feel safe and in balance.

It is for this reason that we have a pretty set bedtime routine and schedule. We try to keep therapy appointments on the same days and times. We use the "clean up" song to signal the boys that it's time to put toys away. (songs in general are good but I'll talk about that on another post) I usually do not take my boys to the doctor if their regular doctor is not scheduled in that day. We like to keep the same therapists and the one time that we did have to switch therapists for a bit we tried to get Gatlin used to the new one before his regular one went on maternity leave. Doing these things helps to keep it familiar and comfortable for our boys. They are less likely to be overwhelmed and frustrated if we stick to the routine.

Now I'm not saying that you should never change things up because let's face it, life is full of change. What I am saying is that you should keep things on schedule when you can and when you can't it's best to talk about it, show pictures, or do whatever you can to clue a child with Autism in on what changes are to come. For example one time we missed physical therapy for the week so then when we took Gatlin in for Speech he became very agitated because it wasn't the right therapist. He was expecting to see Miss Megan and not Miss Jessica. This actually just happened with Draiman also since he's no longer in OT.

I have noticed that the more Gatlin understands what I'm telling him the easier he handles changes. On the other hand with Draiman it is just too overwhelming because he just doesn't understand what's going on. So we do our best to keep it consistent and when we can't we do our best to explain what is going on. We do incorporate change also because that's important to learn to deal with but we keep that in smaller doses since the boys have enough challenges on a daily basis any way.

Day 5 - Comet

Sorry I'm a bit late with this one. Last night Gatlin and Draiman decided to take shifts and keep me awake until almost 4am. Since they wouldn't go to sleep I did not get my painting done last night but here it is now.

Day 5 - Comet - acrylic on paper

New chair

My photographer friend Sarah dropped off a chair this morning for me to use as a prop. Immediately the boys took to it and have been sitting in it since it got here.  :) Of course I should mention that this chair spins so it's even more fun to play with than our other furniture.

I'm back!!!

     Well it's been a long time since I've posted anything on this blog and I apologize for that. Life got busier and more interesting to say the least. We had a lot of adjustments to make but it has been a great journey. I'm hoping to get back into blogging this new year, as well as lot of other things.
     Before I start any new posts let me give you a brief recap of things since I last blogged. This blog is aptly titled BrothersBad because it's really all about my boys and life with them. At the same time my boys are the reason I took such a hiatus from blogging. In February of 2012 Gatlin was diagnosed with Autism and with that we as a family had a lot to learn. Shortly thereafter we started noticing the huge similarities between Gatlin and Draiman. Then in August Draiman was also diagnosed with Autism. Since that time Gatlin has started preschool, Draiman has started early intervention home visits, and we have lots of therapy appointments as well. On a regular basis there are appointments for physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy. We spend a lot of time working on sign language at home as well as other things and we also have a P.L.A.Y. Project consultant that comes to our home to teach us the P.L.A.Y. method of engaging our boys.
     So as I'm sure you can tell it's been a busy time for us but it has been wonderful as well. Our boys have progressed so much this past year but more importantly they have taught us even more. We are blessed and honored to have them in our lives. For us Autism has not been a tragedy but rather a wonderful learning experience. We have learned new ways to understand and connect with our boys all while they have taught us so many valuable lessons. I am thankful for them everyday and proud to be their Mama.

Halloween Fun

Well I know I'm late with this post but you know what they say... "Better late than never." I would like to share a couple of the boys in their Halloween costumes. This year I made their costumes. Draiman was Gnomeo and Gatlin was an Alien from Toy Story.

Halloween was a lot of fun and I truly enjoyed making costumes for my boys. Now it's time to work on Christmas stuff though. I have lots to make and little time in which to make it. It will be fun though and I can't wait to share some pics with you.

Draiman's 1st

Draiman is officially a one year old. Wow I still can't believe how fast time flies by. My little guy is growing up so fast. I swear he was a newborn just yesterday and now today he's walking all over the house. This reminds me yet again that it is crucial to spend as much time with my little guys as possible because before I know it they will be all grown up.

Well I haven't gotten through all of Draiman's birthday pics yet because it's been a busy couple of weeks with his birthday party, and now making Halloween costumes but here are few pics of the cupcakes.

New skills

Recently I taught myself how to crochet hats. I'm still very new to crochet but I'm steadily getting the hang of it. When I decided to learn to crochet I wasn't really sure what all I would do with this new skill but now I am so glad that I learned. I can see that this is one skill that is definitely going to come in handy. Check out a couple of the hats I've made so far.

The dangers of photographing your own children

I should have known better, it is never easy to photograph your own children. I know this first hand because every time I try to do it they decided to do everything in their power to defy me. It's been this way forever. Gatlin gets angry or runs away laughing when I try to photograph him. Draiman usually just gives me a very sour puss face or he refuses to look at me. They put up enough of a fight for just candid portraits but when I actually set up a scene it's always game on. That's when they decide to be their worst.

Well yesterday I decided to set up a fall scene because I really wanted some fall portraits of the boys. I knew that the odds of me getting anything good were very well stacked against me but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. It's always a challenge with these two but at least it's worth a shot.

Overall Draiman was very good, he stayed in the same spot and even looked the right direction a few times. Gatlin on the other hand wasn't having it at all. He refused to stay on the hay bales and if he did sit still for a moment he made sure he was facing backwards so that I could not get a portrait of his face at all. Most of the time he was screaming and attempting to run away. Things were so crazy that at one point I knocked my tripod around and managed to get some crazy out of focus shots. This one here depicts how the shoot was really going. I must say I love it as much as the nice portrait, got to love my boys. :)

New pics and a freebie!

I was finally able to get a fairly good picture of the brothersbad together today. Yay!! So now the header to this blog is no longer outdated. Thank goodness for that. My munchkins love to be difficult when it comes to me taking their pictures. Today I was lucky enough that Daddy was home to help and Gatlin was more interested in his movie than me photographing him.

Here are some pics from a few weeks ago when both boys were mad at me. They were not in the mood for me to be taking the pictures but I did it anyway. I absolutely love these pictures. they show so much personality.

I love photographing my boys! Well on that note I would also like to add a freebie here for you. This one is a set of two actions that I created in Photoshop CS5. These are my go to actions for resizing images for facebook. I created two actions, one for horizontal pics and one for vertical pics. I did it this way so that I can just select the appropriate one and it resizes automatically without opening up any dialog boxes. These will resize your photos so that they are 500 pixels on the longest side at 72 ppi. I hope you find them useful. Click here to download.

Getting ladled

It's always sheer craziness around here and today was no exception. First off we needed to head to the grocery store for groceries. Those trips are always fun as we caravan through the aisles with separate carts for each of the boys. Generally all of the food or anything else that can be easily destroyed goes in Draiman's cart so that it is safe from Gatlin. Well today we learned that things are not much safer with Draiman either. Today he decided that he must pull things out of the cart and chew labels off or throw things out of the cart as we headed down the aisle. Lots of fun!

After hitting both grocery stores it was nap time for the boys. Luckily for us they both fell asleep in the car on the ride home. The good news here is that we were able to unload the van and put away the groceries with out any fuss. Then after the boys woke up and dinner was over, I decided to make a peanut butter cake. I've never had peanut butter cake before but a photographer friend gave me the recipe (yes we share more than just photography tips) so I thought I would give it a try. Of course during the prep of the cake Gatlin started freaking out because he wanted the rubber spatula. My boys are always stealing my kitchen utensils!

After I got the cake in the oven I washed off the spatula so that Gatty could play with it. Yes I let him play with my stuff because it keeps him entertained and I plan to teach my boys to cook one day anyway so the sooner he gets used to the utensils the better. As it stands one of Gatty's favorite movies right now is Ratatouille and he loves to act like he's cooking. So all was going well, Gatty was playing with the spatula and Draiman had a ladle, then the next thing I know BAM I get smacked upside the head with the ladle. It did hurt but man did my husband and I get a laugh out of that one. John told me I "got ladled!" So I sit here typing this with a mild headache from Draiman "ladling me" but I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world.

Stand up baby

It never ceases to amaze me how fast children grow. I swear it seems like just yesterday I worried that we were going to have to deliver Draiman early at 29 weeks due to pre-eclampsia issues and now my little guy is all over the place. You can't even keep him in one room any more. He's crawling all over the house and now he's all about standing too. He constantly wants to stand and he will pull himself up where ever he can. Unfortunately for him hard wood floors don't make for very nice tumbles but no matter what he still keeps getting back up.

We purchased a big play mat in the hopes that it would help cushion his falls but it doesn't work very well when the little guy won't stay on it. He seems to want to play every other place but there. Even if I put most of the toys on the mat he still has to move elsewhere. I must say that I admire how resilient children are. No matter how many tumbles he takes he just continues on.

Hold the Green Beans

Today I attempted to feed Draiman some green beans baby food. Yeah well that didn't go over very well at all. This was even worse then the day I tried to feed him squash. He started off making the weird faces and then turning his face away from me when I tried to feed him. Then next thing I know he's all fussy and mad because he wants to eat but does NOT want those green beans. So in the end I had to throw out the green beans and feed him some rice cereal with apple juice. Usually he's not picky but he just was not having those green beans today.

Draiman Baby

Mama's little baby is growning up so fast. Just looking at these pics you can see how quickly he's growing and changing. As I've said numerous times before I just can not believe how fast time flies by. It seem like just yesterday he was my tiny little newborn and now he's rolling all over the place and starting to crawl! I can't keep him still for anything. He's always been a mover and shaker but now that he can actually roll around and move where he wants for the most part there isn't much stopping him. I anticipate that it will only be a short time before he's officially crawling everywhere. Look out world, here he comes!

Fun in the bassinet

Smiling happy baby

Spitting and blowing bubbles

Time to chew on toes



No more pictures Mommy I'm tired of this!